One week in Texas already – wow. Right now baby Cal is snuggled up and asleep on my bed while I am half-dressed with wet hair and too much to do, but I wanted to take this precious quiet time to write at least a little bit. My brain is so full of thoughts and experiences from the past few months that I don’t know what to write about first!
Mostly, I think about being a mom. Being a smart mom, an athletic mom, a positive mom, a calm mom, a kind mom, a fun mom, a creative mom…and then I get overwhelmed. I want to be so many things for this baby and for my family, and find myself falling short daily. It’s a good day for me if I take a shower and clean a couple things in the house, maybe cook a light dinner and eat a somewhat put together meal for lunch instead of a handful of this or that.
I also am so confused about any kind of schedule. How do people do it? I feel like Cal finally gets in a rhythm (wakes up and eats at 8, plays then sleeps for an hour, eats again, sleeps for 2 hours…) then the next day it is just blown to bits. Like today…
(post interrupted by a sad baby – finished today, a few days later….)
But, although it is hard most days, the littlest of things make it worth it. When I’m wrapping him up in a blanket to go to bed, and I look down and see he’s been smiling up at me, trying to catch my eye. Or when I pass him off to Ryan to finish up dinner, and look over to see him watching my every move. And when he falls asleep in my arms after a little cuddle and a lullaby – those moments make the hard times worth pushing through.
Switching gears :)
Texas is so hot. Oh my goodness. But, I think my body is getting used to it. I no longer wilt as soon as I step outside, and find myself sweating just a little less every day! I am getting to know a few girls in the ward and love that 90% of them have little babies too. I have been picking their brains. “How was the first year of med school for you?” “What do you do for fun?” “How do you handle the heat of summer with a brand new baby?” And they have been so sweet to answer every single one, and are really helpful. Ryan and I are one of 8 couples whose husbands are either in med school or dental school, and we are looking forward to getting to know everyone.
Something funny, Ryan came down a little early to move things in, and the Bishop asked if he or I played the Organ. Well…that turned into me playing the organ on my first Sunday in Texas, which was pretty intimidating! But, it came back quickly thank goodness. I won’t say I was very happy with Ryan about spilling the beans but as they say, “don’t hide your light under a bushel”, right?
Ryan is doing so great too. His white coat ceremony was really exciting - it really hit us that this is it! The next 8-12 years are really starting! He is halfway through his first week of school, and is trying to get into a groove and feel more comfortable in a new place, with a new group of people. But I am so impressed with him. He is handling a large load so well, and still manages to help me with Cal in the evening before bedtime, and makes me feel like the luckiest lady around.
This post is so long and random, but there are so many thoughts bouncing around since it’s been weeks since I’ve posted. I guess to sum things up, we are happy here. It’s new and exciting, sometimes scary and overwhelming, but I just feel it in my gut that we are going to make some wonderful memories here.