Success

This last week I was...off.  I was easily irritated, quick to take offense, defensive and just plain moody!  I kept trying to blame hormones or anything to justify my behavior, but deep down I knew it wasn't anyone or anything's fault but my own.

After mulling over my thoughts, both privately and with family, I was able to pin point what exactly was troubling me.  I was stuck on success as having one definition - making money.  All around me, there are people being unique and innovative, creatively finding ways to have an income during the rough years of medical school.  I kept combing through my skills and talents, and came up empty.  I felt like I was just lukewarm at everything, and it really started to get to me.  It felt like college was a waste of time, and any past job was also, worthless.  I started to feel overwhelmed by my negativity and it dragged me down within days.    

Then, it finally hit me.  Success is only what it is defined as, by me.  Not by anyone else.  Success can be perfecting a budget, or broadening my financial knowledge, even learning a hard song on the piano or guitar.  It could be to overcome a bad habit, or to get over how awkward I feel on phone calls.  Success needs to be broader, because if it isn't, I could miss a potentially very rewarding time of life. 

I'm not saying I'm not going to try to bring in money, as my sister and I have a plan (we can do it!) but I'm not going to rip myself apart if it isn't as much as others, or if it takes a long time to get there.  For now, I'm just going to focus on the simple successes life brings me along the way.