too many journals, too little time

I feel like I may be stretching myself a little thin.  I am trying to keep up on Cal's line a day journal, his online journal, his instagram (chat book) journal...and once I add a little to Grady's journal, and monthly summaries it's all I can do to find time to write a meaningful post!  Let alone, write in a journal of my own.  I feel anxiety about certain things, and one is that I will miss recording precious moments.  My days are full of them, and trying to balance being in the moment and making sure to record the moment is a harder job than it may sound.  Since my own journal entries are ranked the least important on my priority list, I want to make this blog be as personal as I can stand.  I want to look back and read real things, and not be afraid of what people may think if they happen to read a post here and there.  So, my commitment  to myself moving forward is to treat this blog as my own personal journal as it relates to my family interactions, and other thoughts and feelings.

So, lately, I have been feeling like I have no real talents or skills, at least that can contribute to an income during this time of medical school and residency.  I am sure most stay-at-home moms may feel this way at one point or another, but it has really dragged me down the last 6 months or so.  I see friends who chose to pursue a photography degree, or a dancing degree, or a childhood education degree, and they are able to make some money on the side doing something they love.  As I look back at my college career, I wonder what I would choose if I could do it all over again...and I still don't know?  I hope these next few years I can find time for a little more self discovery and find the thing that I am passionate about, besides my children and husband.  Ryan and I were talking about it the other day, and he asked, "what do you need to do or accomplish that will make you feel like you 'did' something with your life?"  And my ultimate dream would be to start a successful business, and provide a product or service that I was passionate about.

My dear sister-in-law has heard some of these rantings of mine, and called me up with a great idea.  Why not start some kind of music class for toddlers?  I have a musical background, and have a toddler that would DIE for a dedicated time for music, so the idea quickly grabbed my attention.  I have researched, and reached out to fellow moms, and there has been a lot of interest so my goal is to start this class in the fall of this year.  I hope it will bring me a little satisfaction, and sense of accomplishment.  And of course, I hope it helps foster Cal's love of music.