One year already?

April 23, 2012 - Our One Year Anniversary! This year has flown by, but it has been a year of learning for both Ryan and I.  Remember, we dated for two weeks before being engaged, and were married a few short months later.  That didn't give us much time to get to know one another.  So, not only have we learned the basics of being married, this last year we have learned a tremendous amount about each other.  


We look back on our first substantial time away from each other - mid summer when I opted to stay home for about ten days to tend to my poor broken-ankle mother.  We look back and say "yeah...we missed each other..but we were just fine?"  And we compare that to last months absence, when I was spending time in Oregon for spring break.  We REALLY missed each other, especially poor Ryan who was stuck in a cold, dark basement studying for tests.  We knew we were supposed to get married, we knew we loved each other. But what we have come to realize is our love has grown deeper and deeper, and our hearts have grown more tender and bigger for each other.  It's one of those things where you think, if we could love each other this much more in a year, what about when we start having little ones and have so many more years, memories and experiences under our belts?  It is a wonderful thing to think about.


Ryan and I were asked to share some thoughts at an engaged couples fireside a few sundays ago.  We were asked to think about the question, "what do you wish you knew during your first three months of marriage?" We spent a great deal of time discussing and pondering that question, since our first three months of marriage were particularly hard.  We decided to share a few points including:


1. Don't assume.  Don't assume you like the same things or respond in the same way, or communicate the same.  Don't assume your spouse is mad or upset, or frustrated.  Learn to ask questions and be open to learn and change.


2.  Be Kind.  We have both learned that by approaching one another with kind words and a soft tone allows for cooling off and it builds a trust; trusting that we care about what each other is feeling and what we have to say.


3.  Give each other the benefit of the doubt.  If your feelings are hurt, don't automatically think your spouse did it intentionally.  We are all learning and trying our best.  


We look back on this year with such tenderness.  It was trying at times with football, school, callings and work tugging at us, but there are so many positive memories associated with our first year.  Celebrating birthdays, our first family reunions, visiting Sundance, Christmas memories, the Bowl game, late night studies, movie nights with popcorn/pretzels/m&ms, late-night icecream runs, exercising and yoga...but amidst those events we cherish the times when we learned something new about each other, or found another precious thing to love about each other.  


We have a framed cross-stitch hanging up that says, "Happiness is being married to your best friend."  Ryan is my best friend.  And I am his!  Everything in the world could crumble around us, but we know we could make it just as long as we face it hand in hand.  


 PS. Ryan really went above and beyond this year.  He planned and planned and it turned out to be a perfect day.  Trail runs and park picnics, feeding the ducks and a lovely walk, dinner and a movie, flowers and a wonderful book.  It was better than anything I could have done that's for sure :)